Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[spoken during solo]
(Visualize your dream)
(Record it in the present tense)
(Put it into a permanent form)
(If you persist in your efforts)
(You can achieve dream control)
(Dream control)
(How's that then, better?)
(Hug me)
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from the pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....
PS: Do listen to the song as well!!!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Friday ride!
A typical software engineer doesn’t know what he is doing and loves his/her Fridays. I am no exception. Every Friday starts with a thought that I have to leave early today. It never really matters if I have anything special to do or not. The joy of leaving early can’t be felt unless you have experienced it. And I sincerely hope, nobody gets that chance! And mind you, I am not a sadist.
Nevertheless, I packed my bags and rushed towards the bus stand. I made myself comfortable at the window seat and pulled out my iPod in a regal style. It is one of those few things which catches attention of others sitting beside you, as if I had got something which came from mars. And that’s not why I treasure it. I genuinely like this product coming out of Jobs’ factory. The bus was getting filled by each passing minute and I was just waiting for the bus to start. And finally the moment arrived with a lovely damsel sitting by my side. Mind you, it doesn’t happen that often but I wasn’t complaining. You can rest assured that my lips were to be kept zipped till either of us got down of the bus.
With the opportunity sitting to my left, my face found some kind of polarity towards right and that meant my view sweeping everything in its sight except the one which mattered. But it bothered me the least not because I wasn’t interested but because I was quite used to it. I have had many chances in the past, but as they say, I squandered it all! The bus kept on moving and so did the precious moments. Don’t call it timidity. I choose to call it ineptness or ineptitude. You see, some kind of training and I will be right on track!
Resigned to the fact that I will be the only one of my kind, I decided to count the number of vehicles overtaking my grand vehicle. One, two, three... The time kept on passing. That’s the incentive of leaving early on Fridays! As our bus advanced towards one of the many known bottlenecks, another bus came along with ever reducing speed. Now we were almost in sync. And I happened to take a look at one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. It seemed that my heart skipped a beat or two. Her eyes darted back at me and I, as if in oblivion, could not respond suitably. What is expected of chivalry? I seemed to forget this at that very moment. I could not take my eyes off her.
And as if in retaliation, she also chose to respond in a similar way. Mind you, these are rare of the rarest occasions for me. I was in a trance. And how I wished that it should never end!
For a change I cared to look the other way, the gate of opportunity which was closed long back. It was more because I didn’t want to show that I was gasping for breath. To get rid of the lumps of throat, you need to do it intelligently. I hesitated to look back towards my favorite side. As a manager, you are required to think on your toes. I thought god could have given me a better situation to test the same. I had to take a decision, and I took. As if she was expecting the same from me, she got defensive. And to tell you the truth, I loved every bit of it. Suddenly her bus started speeding. I looked at my driver and his inability to surge ahead as a car was stuck in front. I cursed the car driver with all my might. Why such things happen only to me? And then I realized that my bus too has engaged itself in the most important business of catching up with each passing moment. I took a big sigh of relief. As expected, I neared the bus. Now my eyes were hooked not to her but on the one sitting next to her. And I again took a big sigh of relief. Now our looks were playing hide and seek. As expected, we were not complaining.
Suddenly the bus surged past and took, what I thought at that point of time, an unbeatable lead. But soon I was to be proven wrong. I could see in the distance, the bus offloading some of its passengers. These were some crucial moments for my bus to make a march as fast as it could. And it did. Soon, she got down the bus. I was happy that my journey was one to be cherished. But soon, I was to be proved wrong.
There she walked hand in hand with a guy. I can never understand why all the gorgeous women are never single and most importantly with a guy you would never want to be. My first opportunity too had vanished into thin air by the time I stepped out of the bus. The second one, I thought was never an opportunity. It was like a mirage. But I am not complaining!
My iPod was playing Linkin Park’s In the end. Nice way to wind up your Friday!
Nevertheless, I packed my bags and rushed towards the bus stand. I made myself comfortable at the window seat and pulled out my iPod in a regal style. It is one of those few things which catches attention of others sitting beside you, as if I had got something which came from mars. And that’s not why I treasure it. I genuinely like this product coming out of Jobs’ factory. The bus was getting filled by each passing minute and I was just waiting for the bus to start. And finally the moment arrived with a lovely damsel sitting by my side. Mind you, it doesn’t happen that often but I wasn’t complaining. You can rest assured that my lips were to be kept zipped till either of us got down of the bus.
With the opportunity sitting to my left, my face found some kind of polarity towards right and that meant my view sweeping everything in its sight except the one which mattered. But it bothered me the least not because I wasn’t interested but because I was quite used to it. I have had many chances in the past, but as they say, I squandered it all! The bus kept on moving and so did the precious moments. Don’t call it timidity. I choose to call it ineptness or ineptitude. You see, some kind of training and I will be right on track!
Resigned to the fact that I will be the only one of my kind, I decided to count the number of vehicles overtaking my grand vehicle. One, two, three... The time kept on passing. That’s the incentive of leaving early on Fridays! As our bus advanced towards one of the many known bottlenecks, another bus came along with ever reducing speed. Now we were almost in sync. And I happened to take a look at one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. It seemed that my heart skipped a beat or two. Her eyes darted back at me and I, as if in oblivion, could not respond suitably. What is expected of chivalry? I seemed to forget this at that very moment. I could not take my eyes off her.
And as if in retaliation, she also chose to respond in a similar way. Mind you, these are rare of the rarest occasions for me. I was in a trance. And how I wished that it should never end!
For a change I cared to look the other way, the gate of opportunity which was closed long back. It was more because I didn’t want to show that I was gasping for breath. To get rid of the lumps of throat, you need to do it intelligently. I hesitated to look back towards my favorite side. As a manager, you are required to think on your toes. I thought god could have given me a better situation to test the same. I had to take a decision, and I took. As if she was expecting the same from me, she got defensive. And to tell you the truth, I loved every bit of it. Suddenly her bus started speeding. I looked at my driver and his inability to surge ahead as a car was stuck in front. I cursed the car driver with all my might. Why such things happen only to me? And then I realized that my bus too has engaged itself in the most important business of catching up with each passing moment. I took a big sigh of relief. As expected, I neared the bus. Now my eyes were hooked not to her but on the one sitting next to her. And I again took a big sigh of relief. Now our looks were playing hide and seek. As expected, we were not complaining.
Suddenly the bus surged past and took, what I thought at that point of time, an unbeatable lead. But soon I was to be proven wrong. I could see in the distance, the bus offloading some of its passengers. These were some crucial moments for my bus to make a march as fast as it could. And it did. Soon, she got down the bus. I was happy that my journey was one to be cherished. But soon, I was to be proved wrong.
There she walked hand in hand with a guy. I can never understand why all the gorgeous women are never single and most importantly with a guy you would never want to be. My first opportunity too had vanished into thin air by the time I stepped out of the bus. The second one, I thought was never an opportunity. It was like a mirage. But I am not complaining!
My iPod was playing Linkin Park’s In the end. Nice way to wind up your Friday!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Enigma: The Return to Innocence
Thats not the beginning of the end
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Love - devotion
Feeling - emotion
Love - devotion
Feeling - emotion
Dont be afraid to be weak
Dont be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny
Dont care what people say
Just follow your own way
Dont give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
Thats not the beginning of the end
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Dont care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Dont give up, dont give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny.
PS: Lyrics of Enigma's "Return to Innocence"
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Love - devotion
Feeling - emotion
Love - devotion
Feeling - emotion
Dont be afraid to be weak
Dont be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny
Dont care what people say
Just follow your own way
Dont give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
Thats not the beginning of the end
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Dont care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Dont give up, dont give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny.
PS: Lyrics of Enigma's "Return to Innocence"
Sunday, June 8, 2008
15 minutes of fame
“I never expected this from a person like G V Ramesh.” One could see disappointment in the voice of Robin Wockhardt.
“And to make myself clear, that I am not in a state of gripe, I must say that a repetition of such an act reflects poorly on his sincerity and the lackluster attitude of your government in handling an issue of global importance.” Robin was more vociferous than he had ever been, which was quite unbecoming for the situation on hand.
“Here, we assemble with all our sincerity to find solution to a problem fast becoming a menace for the whole world. But such a lackadaisical attitude on his part is highly unfortunate. I hope your government revisits its list of chosen delegates and makes sure that we get an arresting representation next year. I am really very peeved.” Mr. Wockhardt shot back in almost the same vein.
Manav stood there just looking at the lip movements of Robin. He hoped that he could do something in his capacity to pacify Mr. Robin. But, he too was a rookie representing India at the IFEI (International forum for Environmental Issues), Estonia. He blamed his luck for his presence in this unknown place. If the rains wouldn’t have lashed so hard in Kolkata that day, he would have been calling his mom from San Francisco by now. His flight was canceled and as he was about to enjoy this welcome break, a phone rang chanting with its entire might. The voice at the other end of the call was of Ramesh.
“Hi Manav. You are not going to believe this. You have been presented with a golden opportunity in a very nascent stage of your career. San Francisco can wait but Estonia can’t. ICGW (Indian council for Global warming) has identified in you a leader who is quite capable of putting forward India’s concern on this front at the global stage. You shouldn’t step back. I know you don’t need to pack your bags, so you are flying in two days time to Estonia. You need not worry for anything. Our representative there will brief you about the agenda of the meet and will present to you the draft of our viewpoint. So, here’s wishing you all the luck in this world for a successful venture.”
Manav wished he had the veto power for only once in his entire lifetime and at that very moment. It’s inexplicably frustrating to set out for a journey to an unknown land when you had been building castles in your mind about the life at the place of your choice.
“Most of the guys representing this year are known to me because they had represented last year as well. It’s very important to establish resonance in such important events. Before the start of the meet itself, I can rest assured of their major concerns and assist them accordingly. But, Ramesh had a different reason last year as well to justify his absence. I am really sorry, I should not be involving you in this, but I can’t really help it.
Anyways that you are here, I am sure you would do justice to your role.”
Manav had managed to carry himself well till now and didn’t want others to notice his sagging and ever dropping spirits. Manav was the guy you can bank on when it comes to giving more than 100 percent towards the problem on hand. But, today it was quite strange. It was not Manav’s idea of ambience and he knew it. But, this was what he loved the most. If challenges weren’t there, world would have been so boring, he thought.
It was quarter past 12, but sleep eluded Manav. The restricted movements he was allowed to carry out in his bed had become too monotonous. So, he jumped out of his bed and went into the balcony with the agenda and draft in his hand. He was all too serious and he wanted to focus only on one thing at that moment: the forum he was supposed to attend tomorrow.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are quite honored to have with us the gracious presence of Mr. Manav Bakshi from India. I would like him to come over and present his views in this forum.” These words seemed to make little sense to Manav as he took his strides hurriedly towards the dais. His heart was pounding at the rate of knots.
“Ladies and gentlemen. I thank you all for gathering here in support of a noble cause. We may be thousands of miles away from our homes, but what brings us together is the feeling of oneness. This feeling arises typically from a common feeling of guilt, which makes us do our bit in earnest. I am quite thankful towards my government to have chosen me to represent at this council. It’s an honor for me to carry the concerns of a billion Indians and to express that in a forum which expects better things from us. This is one front where each country would like to take leadership and would appreciate if others volunteer too. As I stand here today and deliver my speech within the confines of this cozy air-conditioned room, sun will be beating down hard in other parts of the world. It’s a gift bestowed on us by our mother nature. But there is a hole somewhere up which is not that good. I don’t have to bother much because that hole is not going to bother us or our families. But what about others who are directly affected? What about our children who got that hole as their legacy. They definitely had no hand in making that hole, then why should they be facing its repercussions? It is for the coming generation that I stand here. It is not for me or for that matter anyone sitting here in this hall. It is for the future. The future which sees itself manifested in the form of our children. We had no business in making this world a smoky place. But still we did it! Who shall we put the blame on? It’s time we stop finding scapegoats. It’s the time to act. I am sure all those gathered here, either coming from the vast extend of treacherous Saharan desert or from the snow clad Finland, our agenda is same. We have to stop plains getting converted into arid lands, islands swept away in water, glaciers melting, so on and so forth. The list is endless as far as the calamities are concerned. For this we need a collective effort. We have to transgress personal bickering and collate our efforts so that our children can breathe in fresh air.”
“I am not here to do justice to my role. My role here is that of a helper, a contributor and definitely not of a mute spectator. I don’t know if others feel so intensely about what not they are capable of accumulating for their children, but I surely do know that a better place to live in is the least I can guarantee for them. We work day in and day out to help realize others’ dreams. It’s our family and our children. If we get out of our comfort zone and try to look beyond, we can at least manage to get a feel of the things to come. A futuristic society is not going to be governed by what is being traded in its territories, but what’s there to lead a happy living. Unless or until we are convinced radically about apocalypse in our minds, we can’t see our children suffer. You as a parent can’t ignore the call of your duty. We may even have to go out of it.”
“Man has always managed to change the way we live. We, sitting at the top of the pyramid, are a testimony to this fact. A good reason remains good unless you stop thinking about that. Are we thinking now as we go about mindlessly pursuing our dreams? Have we ever taken some time out to think where are we going? Mind says whatever you are doing will take you into the annals of the history. That is too big an incentive to let go by. But have we ever left us with some time to heed to our inner call. Our heart says that what we are doing may not be totally appropriate. But do we have the courage to take corrective measures midway? Can we forgo our passions for the voice of our inner call? Please be reminded that you would end up buying the right idea and notion every time you take pains to listen to that voice. I hope everyone out here is convinced in his mind that we should not let this change take place. The way we live in future has to be decided by us. The things which we do today will be things of past in the future. But, it’s always the past which affects your future. So, let’s all make this a past to remember. History records other things as well. A change is what we are hoping to bring. A change that will change the future!”
Manav left the dais with everyone asking a question to themselves. It lasted roughly 15 minutes but left them with several questions to contemplate on. A trip to San Francisco was definitely not this worthy. A sense of pride was deeply embedded into a notion of future. Manav Bakshi couldn’t have asked anything better than Ramesh’s absence. Mr. Worckhardt too seemed to ponder over a question. I think you too, must.
I think every one must long for his 15 minutes of fame!
“And to make myself clear, that I am not in a state of gripe, I must say that a repetition of such an act reflects poorly on his sincerity and the lackluster attitude of your government in handling an issue of global importance.” Robin was more vociferous than he had ever been, which was quite unbecoming for the situation on hand.
“Here, we assemble with all our sincerity to find solution to a problem fast becoming a menace for the whole world. But such a lackadaisical attitude on his part is highly unfortunate. I hope your government revisits its list of chosen delegates and makes sure that we get an arresting representation next year. I am really very peeved.” Mr. Wockhardt shot back in almost the same vein.
Manav stood there just looking at the lip movements of Robin. He hoped that he could do something in his capacity to pacify Mr. Robin. But, he too was a rookie representing India at the IFEI (International forum for Environmental Issues), Estonia. He blamed his luck for his presence in this unknown place. If the rains wouldn’t have lashed so hard in Kolkata that day, he would have been calling his mom from San Francisco by now. His flight was canceled and as he was about to enjoy this welcome break, a phone rang chanting with its entire might. The voice at the other end of the call was of Ramesh.
“Hi Manav. You are not going to believe this. You have been presented with a golden opportunity in a very nascent stage of your career. San Francisco can wait but Estonia can’t. ICGW (Indian council for Global warming) has identified in you a leader who is quite capable of putting forward India’s concern on this front at the global stage. You shouldn’t step back. I know you don’t need to pack your bags, so you are flying in two days time to Estonia. You need not worry for anything. Our representative there will brief you about the agenda of the meet and will present to you the draft of our viewpoint. So, here’s wishing you all the luck in this world for a successful venture.”
Manav wished he had the veto power for only once in his entire lifetime and at that very moment. It’s inexplicably frustrating to set out for a journey to an unknown land when you had been building castles in your mind about the life at the place of your choice.
“Most of the guys representing this year are known to me because they had represented last year as well. It’s very important to establish resonance in such important events. Before the start of the meet itself, I can rest assured of their major concerns and assist them accordingly. But, Ramesh had a different reason last year as well to justify his absence. I am really sorry, I should not be involving you in this, but I can’t really help it.
Anyways that you are here, I am sure you would do justice to your role.”
Manav had managed to carry himself well till now and didn’t want others to notice his sagging and ever dropping spirits. Manav was the guy you can bank on when it comes to giving more than 100 percent towards the problem on hand. But, today it was quite strange. It was not Manav’s idea of ambience and he knew it. But, this was what he loved the most. If challenges weren’t there, world would have been so boring, he thought.
It was quarter past 12, but sleep eluded Manav. The restricted movements he was allowed to carry out in his bed had become too monotonous. So, he jumped out of his bed and went into the balcony with the agenda and draft in his hand. He was all too serious and he wanted to focus only on one thing at that moment: the forum he was supposed to attend tomorrow.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are quite honored to have with us the gracious presence of Mr. Manav Bakshi from India. I would like him to come over and present his views in this forum.” These words seemed to make little sense to Manav as he took his strides hurriedly towards the dais. His heart was pounding at the rate of knots.
“Ladies and gentlemen. I thank you all for gathering here in support of a noble cause. We may be thousands of miles away from our homes, but what brings us together is the feeling of oneness. This feeling arises typically from a common feeling of guilt, which makes us do our bit in earnest. I am quite thankful towards my government to have chosen me to represent at this council. It’s an honor for me to carry the concerns of a billion Indians and to express that in a forum which expects better things from us. This is one front where each country would like to take leadership and would appreciate if others volunteer too. As I stand here today and deliver my speech within the confines of this cozy air-conditioned room, sun will be beating down hard in other parts of the world. It’s a gift bestowed on us by our mother nature. But there is a hole somewhere up which is not that good. I don’t have to bother much because that hole is not going to bother us or our families. But what about others who are directly affected? What about our children who got that hole as their legacy. They definitely had no hand in making that hole, then why should they be facing its repercussions? It is for the coming generation that I stand here. It is not for me or for that matter anyone sitting here in this hall. It is for the future. The future which sees itself manifested in the form of our children. We had no business in making this world a smoky place. But still we did it! Who shall we put the blame on? It’s time we stop finding scapegoats. It’s the time to act. I am sure all those gathered here, either coming from the vast extend of treacherous Saharan desert or from the snow clad Finland, our agenda is same. We have to stop plains getting converted into arid lands, islands swept away in water, glaciers melting, so on and so forth. The list is endless as far as the calamities are concerned. For this we need a collective effort. We have to transgress personal bickering and collate our efforts so that our children can breathe in fresh air.”
“I am not here to do justice to my role. My role here is that of a helper, a contributor and definitely not of a mute spectator. I don’t know if others feel so intensely about what not they are capable of accumulating for their children, but I surely do know that a better place to live in is the least I can guarantee for them. We work day in and day out to help realize others’ dreams. It’s our family and our children. If we get out of our comfort zone and try to look beyond, we can at least manage to get a feel of the things to come. A futuristic society is not going to be governed by what is being traded in its territories, but what’s there to lead a happy living. Unless or until we are convinced radically about apocalypse in our minds, we can’t see our children suffer. You as a parent can’t ignore the call of your duty. We may even have to go out of it.”
“Man has always managed to change the way we live. We, sitting at the top of the pyramid, are a testimony to this fact. A good reason remains good unless you stop thinking about that. Are we thinking now as we go about mindlessly pursuing our dreams? Have we ever taken some time out to think where are we going? Mind says whatever you are doing will take you into the annals of the history. That is too big an incentive to let go by. But have we ever left us with some time to heed to our inner call. Our heart says that what we are doing may not be totally appropriate. But do we have the courage to take corrective measures midway? Can we forgo our passions for the voice of our inner call? Please be reminded that you would end up buying the right idea and notion every time you take pains to listen to that voice. I hope everyone out here is convinced in his mind that we should not let this change take place. The way we live in future has to be decided by us. The things which we do today will be things of past in the future. But, it’s always the past which affects your future. So, let’s all make this a past to remember. History records other things as well. A change is what we are hoping to bring. A change that will change the future!”
Manav left the dais with everyone asking a question to themselves. It lasted roughly 15 minutes but left them with several questions to contemplate on. A trip to San Francisco was definitely not this worthy. A sense of pride was deeply embedded into a notion of future. Manav Bakshi couldn’t have asked anything better than Ramesh’s absence. Mr. Worckhardt too seemed to ponder over a question. I think you too, must.
I think every one must long for his 15 minutes of fame!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Storyteller
“I am the storyteller”. A man with a white beard said to the toddler. He was quite conspicuous by his choice of attire in that train. He must have been at the wrong end of 70’s but still looked quite charming going by his radiant face. The woolen overcoat was amicably placed on his not-so-strong shoulders. The black trousers gave him the perfect look of a detective from some Conan Doyle’s book. But the words which he muttered seemed quite strange as no one takes pride in some profession like this. But it soon dawned on me, that the old man could be some writer.
It was the month of February and it’s anybody’s guess as to what the weather is like in the northern parts of India. It never feels good to travel during this period but when you are living thousands of miles away from your home, nothing seems to suffice. It was the morning train I had taken from Varanasi to travel till Gorakhpur, my home town. If I recollect well, I had managed to spend some time with my brother studying in BHU and the after effects of separation were not adding up to anything good. We had so many thing to talk(we were meeting after years) that we longed for at least 100 hrs in a day. Defeated on that front, I had trudged my way into this train and could secure a cozy looking seat in the general compartment. I must admit that one of the better experiences of traveling in India comes from the confines of these wooden compartments. You will definitely not see smug looking “official” faces. You have to talk, even if you are in no mood to do so. Vendors abound, the non-stop chirp is also a speciality.
By the corner of my eye, I looked at the old man, not giving any indications or showing my interest in their talk. But I told myself that it’s not a bad time pass if he puts some of his stories right on the floor. I was making an earnest attempt to keep my emotions in control.
“Okay, then tell me a story which is not going to end. I don’t like stories which end. I always ask my daadi to tell a never ending story but she always manages to make me sleep before I could remember anything.” the little boy said with clear dejection in his voice. Everybody likes stories, but never ending ones! That’s asking too much.
“But every story has to end my son; otherwise I will not be a story teller. If a story doesn’t end, how will you enjoy other stories? It will become monotonous to have only one story running as a commentary. You tell me, would you like such a situation?” The old man said with sparkling wisdom in his eyes.
“But I don’t like stories which end” The kid stuck to his best line.
“Hmm..I can tell you one”. Old man said with supreme confidence. But I was startled at this new trick of his to keep the kid engaged. I don’t like men who lie to children. They are innocent and too young to understand what goes into the act of trickery. They are not exposed to the whole gamut of emotions and it smacks of hypocrisy when one tells them anything to get their attention intact. What about the ghost stories we used to hear when we were kids? The terror of passing by a peepal tree even with your parents! The crackling sound of bamboo trees, when I used to visit my village and sleep in the open space just in front of my house, still remains fresh in my ears. Seeing things which are impossible to think have been legacy for young generations. I hated the old man more for his attitude than ever in the 15 minutes of togetherness in the train.
"It’s none of our business to contemplate over how we should see others behave." I thought and clung to my denim jacket to not let the cool breeze pass inside.
“But you tell me, how are you going to listen to me? You will get down midway and my never-ending story will have to come to an abrupt halt”. Old man seemed to have made some sense after my mental banter I think.
“You have your answers pre-planned and would not let me hear any story. I know this for sure. Even my daadi promises a lot of things, but she always manages to dodge my pertinent questions away. Ok, tell me a story as long as it lasts”. Now, the kid was almost on the verge of tears saying this. I suppose every kid knows how to get their demands fulfilled. That is a very strange language. The timing also remains perfect.
“Ok. I will tell you a story, but promise me that you won’t leave until I finish the story.” I thought, the expression on the storyteller’s face really expected an answer. I had a smirk look on my face thinking about the solemn concern of the old man.
“Tata Uncle! I wish I could have heard the entire story, but I need to go now.”
“Come on Sparsh, the train will not wait for us. It halts for only 2 minutes.” The father took large strides away from the old man clutching his son’s hand.
The old man waived at Sparsh.
I still had a long way to travel, but somehow in the middle of this entire episode, my mind wandered towards something very different. Call it luck or lucky discovery; I was not to be the same guy ever again.
Aren’t we all travelers in this world? We all have come to complete our journey. Some might get off this train early and others may last a bit long. But, everybody boards this train for a purpose. Like I did, like Sparsh and his father did and like crores of daily commuters did that day. Everybody wants to live forever, but the story teller has something different going on his mind. No use of a single story doing all the rounds to make this world a monotonous place to live in. Everyday we enjoy listening to different stories as each of us tread our path towards our goal. This goal is the destination where this train is going. Amidst all the cacophony, we somehow forget to have a look at things happening around us. Then, comes the story teller to remind us of His existence. Nobody can script a never-ending story as per his/her liking. Sparsh, like hordes of others, want to live forever, negligent of the fact that no one is going to last the whole journey. One day you have to wish goodbye to this whole world and be lost in oblivion, unless the storyteller decides to make it immortal.
Then you have your sentiments quite similar to that of Sparsh, to achieve something worthwhile. You paint a gloomy picture yourself by putting unreasonable constraints. The story teller wants you to enjoy each day as a different story so that the legend may live on. Then you will have obstructions like Sparsh’s father who will let you disembark the train, letting you not complete the journey. The Story teller wants you to go the distance and achieve for yourself what you deserve and what you set out for. But, even if we don’t complete our journey we always keep ourselves reminded of the fact that we are only the medium in his stories. We must thank him enough that he considered us worthy of playing a role in his stories, however little or small it may be.
With a sudden movement, I got back to see the train halted at a station. It wasn’t difficult for me to figure out that I was only one station away from my destination. I looked towards my right expecting the old man to be seated. But he was gone. I don’t know why, but I felt that his absence was not good. As my train started to move, I could feel a tinge of excitement firmly gripping me for having been able to complete my journey of self realization. It is sometimes journeys like these, which give you a reason to look back at your life and contemplate. The moribund aura surrounding modern cities acts as a catalyst to help you forget the very purpose of your existence. It is quite difficult to discover yourself, from that serious a situation.
I can’t thank the story teller more for having reminded me the purpose of my journey. I think, I kind of liked his persona which was far from being too ostentatious, but gripping nevertheless. I hope to unfold new stories everyday from now on.
It was the month of February and it’s anybody’s guess as to what the weather is like in the northern parts of India. It never feels good to travel during this period but when you are living thousands of miles away from your home, nothing seems to suffice. It was the morning train I had taken from Varanasi to travel till Gorakhpur, my home town. If I recollect well, I had managed to spend some time with my brother studying in BHU and the after effects of separation were not adding up to anything good. We had so many thing to talk(we were meeting after years) that we longed for at least 100 hrs in a day. Defeated on that front, I had trudged my way into this train and could secure a cozy looking seat in the general compartment. I must admit that one of the better experiences of traveling in India comes from the confines of these wooden compartments. You will definitely not see smug looking “official” faces. You have to talk, even if you are in no mood to do so. Vendors abound, the non-stop chirp is also a speciality.
By the corner of my eye, I looked at the old man, not giving any indications or showing my interest in their talk. But I told myself that it’s not a bad time pass if he puts some of his stories right on the floor. I was making an earnest attempt to keep my emotions in control.
“Okay, then tell me a story which is not going to end. I don’t like stories which end. I always ask my daadi to tell a never ending story but she always manages to make me sleep before I could remember anything.” the little boy said with clear dejection in his voice. Everybody likes stories, but never ending ones! That’s asking too much.
“But every story has to end my son; otherwise I will not be a story teller. If a story doesn’t end, how will you enjoy other stories? It will become monotonous to have only one story running as a commentary. You tell me, would you like such a situation?” The old man said with sparkling wisdom in his eyes.
“But I don’t like stories which end” The kid stuck to his best line.
“Hmm..I can tell you one”. Old man said with supreme confidence. But I was startled at this new trick of his to keep the kid engaged. I don’t like men who lie to children. They are innocent and too young to understand what goes into the act of trickery. They are not exposed to the whole gamut of emotions and it smacks of hypocrisy when one tells them anything to get their attention intact. What about the ghost stories we used to hear when we were kids? The terror of passing by a peepal tree even with your parents! The crackling sound of bamboo trees, when I used to visit my village and sleep in the open space just in front of my house, still remains fresh in my ears. Seeing things which are impossible to think have been legacy for young generations. I hated the old man more for his attitude than ever in the 15 minutes of togetherness in the train.
"It’s none of our business to contemplate over how we should see others behave." I thought and clung to my denim jacket to not let the cool breeze pass inside.
“But you tell me, how are you going to listen to me? You will get down midway and my never-ending story will have to come to an abrupt halt”. Old man seemed to have made some sense after my mental banter I think.
“You have your answers pre-planned and would not let me hear any story. I know this for sure. Even my daadi promises a lot of things, but she always manages to dodge my pertinent questions away. Ok, tell me a story as long as it lasts”. Now, the kid was almost on the verge of tears saying this. I suppose every kid knows how to get their demands fulfilled. That is a very strange language. The timing also remains perfect.
“Ok. I will tell you a story, but promise me that you won’t leave until I finish the story.” I thought, the expression on the storyteller’s face really expected an answer. I had a smirk look on my face thinking about the solemn concern of the old man.
“Tata Uncle! I wish I could have heard the entire story, but I need to go now.”
“Come on Sparsh, the train will not wait for us. It halts for only 2 minutes.” The father took large strides away from the old man clutching his son’s hand.
The old man waived at Sparsh.
I still had a long way to travel, but somehow in the middle of this entire episode, my mind wandered towards something very different. Call it luck or lucky discovery; I was not to be the same guy ever again.
Aren’t we all travelers in this world? We all have come to complete our journey. Some might get off this train early and others may last a bit long. But, everybody boards this train for a purpose. Like I did, like Sparsh and his father did and like crores of daily commuters did that day. Everybody wants to live forever, but the story teller has something different going on his mind. No use of a single story doing all the rounds to make this world a monotonous place to live in. Everyday we enjoy listening to different stories as each of us tread our path towards our goal. This goal is the destination where this train is going. Amidst all the cacophony, we somehow forget to have a look at things happening around us. Then, comes the story teller to remind us of His existence. Nobody can script a never-ending story as per his/her liking. Sparsh, like hordes of others, want to live forever, negligent of the fact that no one is going to last the whole journey. One day you have to wish goodbye to this whole world and be lost in oblivion, unless the storyteller decides to make it immortal.
Then you have your sentiments quite similar to that of Sparsh, to achieve something worthwhile. You paint a gloomy picture yourself by putting unreasonable constraints. The story teller wants you to enjoy each day as a different story so that the legend may live on. Then you will have obstructions like Sparsh’s father who will let you disembark the train, letting you not complete the journey. The Story teller wants you to go the distance and achieve for yourself what you deserve and what you set out for. But, even if we don’t complete our journey we always keep ourselves reminded of the fact that we are only the medium in his stories. We must thank him enough that he considered us worthy of playing a role in his stories, however little or small it may be.
With a sudden movement, I got back to see the train halted at a station. It wasn’t difficult for me to figure out that I was only one station away from my destination. I looked towards my right expecting the old man to be seated. But he was gone. I don’t know why, but I felt that his absence was not good. As my train started to move, I could feel a tinge of excitement firmly gripping me for having been able to complete my journey of self realization. It is sometimes journeys like these, which give you a reason to look back at your life and contemplate. The moribund aura surrounding modern cities acts as a catalyst to help you forget the very purpose of your existence. It is quite difficult to discover yourself, from that serious a situation.
I can’t thank the story teller more for having reminded me the purpose of my journey. I think, I kind of liked his persona which was far from being too ostentatious, but gripping nevertheless. I hope to unfold new stories everyday from now on.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Thanks a lot!
The past few days have to be the most tiresome ever in my life. Tired I was, but mentally. I guess with every new birthday celebration, you are getting nothing better apart from your birthday cake and going nowhere apart from the inevitable. Life never gets easy and it’s not as if I never knew this fact. But you have to really come up the hard way to see how vehemently it can seem to bite. But that’s the way life goes. In retrospect I can only assume that the path lying ahead is not going to be a cakewalk. In spite of the fact that we are made to toil hard so that our future can look less intimidating, we end up being caught in a web of complex desires and ambitions. An equation penned down by Him with constraints galore can prove a hard nut to crack even for the best of mathematicians. We can easily gauge the life of simpler souls.
My heart was pounding. It felt like the enemy forces are on the doorsteps to barge down the bastion. It’s hard to keep your composure when you know the outcome has more negatives to show and on offer than the ones you would like to see. The greatest programmer seems to have a mischievous trick or two up his sleeves, when he set out to program the sequential stages in a common man’s line of work. I don’t feel equal to the task to quote the holy Geeta, but I am no less fervent in my connotations. It’s the expectations even before the actual task is taken up, which tends to shoot up the anxiety quotient in all of us. Rather than focusing on what is the best we can put for a show, we delve into the subjective analysis of what might happen. It was a similar day for me, where emotions were getting better of me and the mind was refusing to give its best effort.
However, it would be quite good to make you familiar with the buildup to this situation. I am a common man with “my own” ambitions. It won’t be an understatement if I say, that most of the times my efforts don’t commensurate with what I have on my mind. But to err is human. Every time I indulge in such a slippery task, I become quite good at resolutions.
This was supposed to be my call. What else is expected of a guy having the distinction of being called an engineer (as if I am the only one!) and aspirations of a “would be” manager? But I was as clueless as any other person would be on seeing Colombia taking off from NASA space station. The accompanying mirth is surely enjoyable, partly because of the new found knowledge that what I am capable of and partly because, to some extent, I have been able to see the real meaning in the joys of the starry eyed well-wishers. Why I was not able to decide still needs to be investigated and it is no surprise as to who should take the lead in doing that. Because it’s quite pertinent to the future course of action I will be taking. Sometimes, “whys” need to overweigh “hows” and “whens”!
“Why are you planning to get relieved of your services at this awkward point of time? You know this is the peak period of our project and on such a short notice, it will be quite difficult to find a resource matching your skill set. May I know the reason?” These words were a part of the deluge that I had already expected of. But isn’t it strange to feel the heat when things go the way you had expected them to. I was expected to parry off the barrage of questions nonchalantly, but that was far from the case as I sat down still making up a plausible enough reason in my mind to make it sound as authentic as the sunrise in the east. I knew I had to hold fort as a slip here could make things head the wrong way and that would be much to my dismay.
“Hmm..I have decided to pursue my higher studies. I got to know about the result this Saturday and hence had no time to inform you in advance. I know I have put you in a seemingly strange situation, but I hope it’s not that difficult either.”
Whatever happened after that doesn’t really command any space to be shared with. It’s anybody’s guess what happens when two guys with a plan on their mind sit to discuss. Do you expect any freebies to be exchanged? The only thing transpiring out of such a situation can be “deadlock”. And that is what precisely happened!
I have total confidence in Him and whatever he does, he does for a purpose. Still in the wilderness of things associated with my workplace, I suddenly started to have a feeling of claustrophobia. The place where I reside can’t be a reason for that (I myself decided upon it and still have to shell a good amount out of my pocket to keep it secured. I couldn’t find better ways to drill holes into my pocket). The cluster of ideas and suggestions were starting to have a strong influence on my decision making ability. It was akin to a flickering candle flame which always goes with the wind. But the winds blowing in my case were far too many.
I still remember my Uncle narrating me a story of Socrates lying on his death bed and one of his disciples coming to him seeking the ultimate truth. Socrates, bereft of the ability to speak by that time, only managed to open his mouth and show him the wilting tongue. For a normal person like me, that act could have escalated to the thoughts of being rude, but not so for his disciple. It meant that the strongest of teeth have not managed to keep up to their survival whereas the tongue, being a very tender part of our body, still continues to fight for its survival. The story was simple with the expected message too conspicuous and obvious. You have to be very flexible and gentle like the tongue to survive. Everybody knows the fate of teeth.
Those feelings reverberated inside me every now and then, just for the act of consoling that whatever stance I am taking now is in the best interests of my career. But that was only a consoling act, far from the truth. Deep inside me I knew that I am struggling to find answers to obvious questions. Isn’t it strange to discover that of only few things to achieve in our lives( I told you I am a common man. "Sky is the limit", I hope doesn't apply to me), we struggle to make a good way out of it? I don’t know about others, but at that point of time I was certainly on the downhill.
Now I am at peace. Not because what I always wanted to achieve has been achieved, but because I don’t see anything nebulous right now. I am happy because I have been able to make a choice that was anyways,the least expected of me. And did I forget to mention who was behind me all this time?
Here I am sitting on my armchair writing this stuff. I am going nowhere until I take the final call.
My heart was pounding. It felt like the enemy forces are on the doorsteps to barge down the bastion. It’s hard to keep your composure when you know the outcome has more negatives to show and on offer than the ones you would like to see. The greatest programmer seems to have a mischievous trick or two up his sleeves, when he set out to program the sequential stages in a common man’s line of work. I don’t feel equal to the task to quote the holy Geeta, but I am no less fervent in my connotations. It’s the expectations even before the actual task is taken up, which tends to shoot up the anxiety quotient in all of us. Rather than focusing on what is the best we can put for a show, we delve into the subjective analysis of what might happen. It was a similar day for me, where emotions were getting better of me and the mind was refusing to give its best effort.
However, it would be quite good to make you familiar with the buildup to this situation. I am a common man with “my own” ambitions. It won’t be an understatement if I say, that most of the times my efforts don’t commensurate with what I have on my mind. But to err is human. Every time I indulge in such a slippery task, I become quite good at resolutions.
This was supposed to be my call. What else is expected of a guy having the distinction of being called an engineer (as if I am the only one!) and aspirations of a “would be” manager? But I was as clueless as any other person would be on seeing Colombia taking off from NASA space station. The accompanying mirth is surely enjoyable, partly because of the new found knowledge that what I am capable of and partly because, to some extent, I have been able to see the real meaning in the joys of the starry eyed well-wishers. Why I was not able to decide still needs to be investigated and it is no surprise as to who should take the lead in doing that. Because it’s quite pertinent to the future course of action I will be taking. Sometimes, “whys” need to overweigh “hows” and “whens”!
“Why are you planning to get relieved of your services at this awkward point of time? You know this is the peak period of our project and on such a short notice, it will be quite difficult to find a resource matching your skill set. May I know the reason?” These words were a part of the deluge that I had already expected of. But isn’t it strange to feel the heat when things go the way you had expected them to. I was expected to parry off the barrage of questions nonchalantly, but that was far from the case as I sat down still making up a plausible enough reason in my mind to make it sound as authentic as the sunrise in the east. I knew I had to hold fort as a slip here could make things head the wrong way and that would be much to my dismay.
“Hmm..I have decided to pursue my higher studies. I got to know about the result this Saturday and hence had no time to inform you in advance. I know I have put you in a seemingly strange situation, but I hope it’s not that difficult either.”
Whatever happened after that doesn’t really command any space to be shared with. It’s anybody’s guess what happens when two guys with a plan on their mind sit to discuss. Do you expect any freebies to be exchanged? The only thing transpiring out of such a situation can be “deadlock”. And that is what precisely happened!
I have total confidence in Him and whatever he does, he does for a purpose. Still in the wilderness of things associated with my workplace, I suddenly started to have a feeling of claustrophobia. The place where I reside can’t be a reason for that (I myself decided upon it and still have to shell a good amount out of my pocket to keep it secured. I couldn’t find better ways to drill holes into my pocket). The cluster of ideas and suggestions were starting to have a strong influence on my decision making ability. It was akin to a flickering candle flame which always goes with the wind. But the winds blowing in my case were far too many.
I still remember my Uncle narrating me a story of Socrates lying on his death bed and one of his disciples coming to him seeking the ultimate truth. Socrates, bereft of the ability to speak by that time, only managed to open his mouth and show him the wilting tongue. For a normal person like me, that act could have escalated to the thoughts of being rude, but not so for his disciple. It meant that the strongest of teeth have not managed to keep up to their survival whereas the tongue, being a very tender part of our body, still continues to fight for its survival. The story was simple with the expected message too conspicuous and obvious. You have to be very flexible and gentle like the tongue to survive. Everybody knows the fate of teeth.
Those feelings reverberated inside me every now and then, just for the act of consoling that whatever stance I am taking now is in the best interests of my career. But that was only a consoling act, far from the truth. Deep inside me I knew that I am struggling to find answers to obvious questions. Isn’t it strange to discover that of only few things to achieve in our lives( I told you I am a common man. "Sky is the limit", I hope doesn't apply to me), we struggle to make a good way out of it? I don’t know about others, but at that point of time I was certainly on the downhill.
Now I am at peace. Not because what I always wanted to achieve has been achieved, but because I don’t see anything nebulous right now. I am happy because I have been able to make a choice that was anyways,the least expected of me. And did I forget to mention who was behind me all this time?
Here I am sitting on my armchair writing this stuff. I am going nowhere until I take the final call.
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