Will I?

By instinct, I have never ever been an avid reader of books. By books, I don't mean to imply only novels and genres. That would be akin to putting my course books in ignominy and I definitely don't like to carry that burden. For those who don't know me, yours truly trudged his way through 4 eventful years at a decent engineering College down south. It's quite obvious that studying thousands of miles away from your home isn't that lucrative a business. Something, measly similar to callousness, had been my companion in the latter part of my studies. I loathed the very idea of picking up hard bound books to go through the details of a transistor. As if that was not enough, we had to wage a battle against one of the most crappy subjects in the name of Power electronics. A Gate, source and drain was all I had to take care of but that was not to be. A DC Chopper has given me more horrendous nights than a possible ghost sighting!
Nevertheless, I seem to be digressing from my point. I am not here to share my horror story.

Having told that books are not my companion, I have been doing just the opposite for heaven's sake, of late. Yes, you guessed it right. I have started to like reading books. How on earth is this possible? But I seem to like this change.

For the first time in few months, I really look forward to something. There is suddenly a buzz of excitement in my daily chores. Blame it on my new found trait or the exemplary story telling skills of the writers in question, I simply love this addiction. I would like to believe that latter was the cause. Because that would make me more happy for a reason. If I cite the reason, I would be proclaimed as over ambitious. But my simple query to all of them is - "how do you quantify ambition?". But I am all too happy to take these things in my stride. What I am concerned and happy about is my latest "crush". I am not sure, what opinions others will have about my choice or taste about the books I choose to read. It was quite by chance or serendipity,(My blog name..yippee!) if I am allowed to call it, that I stumbled upon the first of the two books in question.
The biggest incentive of reading those books, was the sense of connectivity with the writer's thought process. Both the books set in the backdrop of an emerging India, ambitions and non satiable desire to succeed, it's quite obvious to feel the connection coming from the same social fabric and mental frame of mind. There is something in emotions, which helps find connection where even reason fails to take effect. An emotional India is what I represent and so do others like me.
Or is it something different which is quite amiss in my current frame of mind. Am I mistaking it for something else. The connect is due to the plight of the characters in my books, or due to the writing habits of the writers. I am not able to make out. But both the propositions are good as far as I am concerned. The former makes me marvel at the writing abilities of the writer(s) and the latter gives me a sense of pride which is quite unmatched.
The writers I am talking about are not-that-big in comparision to prolific writers like Salman Rushdie, Vikram Seth, Jeffery Archer and one certain Dorris Lessing. But as one of them has aptly put, "I don't want to be the most admired writer in the country. I want to be the most loved one." The connect lies here. And so their books rock.
With due respect to other writers, I must mention that I get my share of nirvana from reading books like these. I hope to continue with this change in my life.
By the way, Dan Brown isn't that bad at writing novels. I hope I will have something new to share on this front in near future. Until then keep reading!

Predicament

What am i trying to prove,
I question myself frequently
answers seem so galore
which keep on flashing intermittently

but there I lie in conundrum
which option to fall back on
Am I worth all these thoughts
or just some whims of days bygone

nothing sustains itself forever
the glimmer soon subsides
I am a loner in crowd of billions
where thoughtful adroits commit suicides

I may have something to show
but who cares to remember
the greats struggle to find a mention
day in and day out from January to December

I have decided finally to tread my own path
the one which saw very few succeeding
but the impetus lies on me -
to be led or be the one who is leading

Mother

My mother says that I am beautiful,
but what was that which i saw yesterday.
That can be anything but beautiful.

Now I know that all these years I was fooling her,
with deception and alacrity,
making her believe that I am the best.

But only one person knows the truth.
I can look into the mirror but not into her eyes,
because I can get mirrors which can make me look better,
but not those eyes which waited in anticipation and hope
to see how would I look like when I enter into this world.

Those eyes are the first to have lost the world for me,
and I can't afford to make them loose more.

I have decided, I will tell her everything,
because only then will I be patient.
Afterall she is my mother.

Then, I wake up with a jerk to see my mother's hands on my forehead
and I indeed felt that I am beautiful.

The Phoenix

Nothing succeeds like success! Sounds archaic in terms of its usage in common folklore, but when one sits down to analyse the wisdom behind the saying, his effort is always vindicated.
Today was one of those days when you could have seen it getting manifested in the form of Virender Sehwag.
I dare say that there is no player in this world who is like him. This may sound blasphemous to the fanatic fans of great players like Sachin, but with due respect to all of them and in all fairness, one has got to accept that the chances of another person being equal in ability to what he possesses, is next to impossible. What separates him from other players helps you find an answer to his meteoric rise to stardom and having been able to carve a niche for himself in a star studded line up as that of indians.
With magnates like Sachin and Dravid in the team, he has managed to single handedly hog all the limelight on not one but two momentous occasions in test cricket. I happen to be one of those lucky ones to have witnessed both the masterpieces.
The audacity with which he treats world class bowlers is unmatched.Maverick he is, but to confuse that with mindless aggression will be a big blunder. You just can't pen down epics like these with carelessness. Behind that veiled aggression lies a shrewd mind, a sort of mini computer which keeps on ticking and takes that calculated measure at the right time.
Now he commands a place in the list of all time greats and nothing more than this can help an Indian's chest swell with pride. I too can feel the effect.
Kudos to our man, who has redefined the rules as to how a test match innings should be approached.

The Order

A riveting contest materialises between "Who I am" and "Who I am supposed to be". The later entails from the pressure where i live. Not to confuse between the enormity of the space concerned with my idea of "abode", it is naive to think that my connotations are limited to the confines of my home or street. The multitude around me, with a vice like grip over my independence of thought, has in more than one ways contributed to what I am today. What I was supposed to be, is a different talking point altogether.So, what is it which thrusts itself upon poor souls like us? Is it too big a pressure to yield so nonchalantly. Do I owe something to the fact that I was born independent, and so have to be mindful of the greater force governing the way I tread my path? Is there a harbinger, which immolates itself before my very eyes to help me get out of this morbid slumber?The cues are umpteen and so are my chances. But do I have it in me to make way for this hitherto umbrage?Even if I fail to muster enough skill to find answers to my predicaments, I can rest assured that something within me has the capability to wade through this ordeal.This is the human spirit, which against all odds helps the lamp of hope kindle itself in all its glory.This will help me in deciding the order into which I fit in.The fight is on!